Posted in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

The Solo Householder Retreat

What I learned:

  • Get family out of the house.
  • Get pets out of the house, or practice fluid acceptance as your schedule changes.
  • Turn off the phone.  Let people know beforehand that you won’t be available.
  • Turn off the computer.
  • Turn off the TV.
  • Plan meals.  Do the shopping ahead of time.  Try to “fix” rather than “cook.”  Remember to be mindful when preparing food.  Don’t try anything new for the first time; stick to what you know is good for you.
  • Do chores before the start of the retreat.  Get the laundry and shopping done for the week to come so it’s not a distraction.  You’ll have enough to think about.  Trust me.
  • Don’t bother to check the mail.
  • Stay indoors or in enclosed outdoor areas as much as possible.  Avoid people.
  • If you do encounter others, like neighbors, let your practice be compassion.  They probably won’t understand noble silence, and you won’t want to be rude.
  • Make a schedule long before you start.  Then use it as a guideline, not a rulebook.
  • Forgive yourself when you get off track.  Then get back on track.
  • Experiment.  Now is a good opportunity to try varying your meditation practice or sitting position.
  • Be realistic.  You will need time to transition from one activity to another.
  • Consider whether you will exercise.  Exercising may increase your energy more than you wish, but you may feel off balance if you skip a regular session.  Listen to your inner wisdom.  You can always change your mind.
  • You may fall asleep.  If that happens, engage in nap practice!
  • Allow an hour or two after the end of the retreat before planning interactions with others.  Give yourself time to ease back up to speed.

May all beings benefit!

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

“Going” on Retreat

I completed my at-home retreat.  This was my first “solo” retreat – though with all the animals at home, I never felt alone.  I didn’t end up seeing my friend on Saturday, but I did have to dog sit for a different friend who is recovering from major surgery.  Her dog doesn’t like one of my dogs, and major drama ensued.  While my retreat experience wasn’t fully restful, I got to be of service to both dog and owner, and that was good practice, too.

Because numbers are how Americans are taught to keep score:

  • Zazen periods: 14
  • Demons fed: 4
  • Prajna Paramita practice periods: 4
  • Chanting periods not part of other practices: 3
  • Metta meditation periods: 4
  • Neighbors I had polite conversation with while walking the dogs: 4
  • Wandering dogs I returned to their owners: 1
  • Number of 200mg ibuprofen gelcaps consumed: 9

I learned a lot about how my mind works and about the nature of mind.  I managed to avoid the major temptations of sleeping too much and turning on the computer.  I will do this sort of “householder retreat” again when the opportunity presents itself.

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

Roll-Your-Own Retreat Schedule

My beloved husband is going out of town next weekend.  So, I’ve decided to take Sylvia Boorstein’s advice and “don’t just do something, sit there!”  Below is my tentative schedule, based on Hubby leaving around 7 Friday and returning sometime after 2 on Sunday.

Of course, all schedules are subject to change!  I will probably be seeing a friend on Saturday afternoon; I’ll just chop out the activities I had scheduled for that window of time.

My plan is a mix of Zen and Tibetan practices.  They actually blend together better than one might think.  Tributaries of the same stream.

I’ll try to report back after I see how it actually works!

FRIDAY

7:00 PM           Open Formal Retreat.  Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunset is at 7:40)

8:00 PM           Demon Feeding Practice

8:30 PM           Walk Dogs, Feed Dogs, Cat, Bun

9:00 PM           Evening Bell Chant

9:30 PM           Lights Out

SATURDAY

5:30 AM          Wake Up, Walk Dogs

6:00 AM          Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunrise is at 6:15)

7:00 AM          Demon Feeding Practice

7:30 AM          Breakfast, Walk Dogs

8:30 AM          Zazen – Bowing, Chanting, 3-4 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

11:30 AM        Relax (Yoga, Shower, Read, Etc.)

12:30 PM         Lunch, Walk Dogs

1:30 PM           Relax (Read, Etc.)

2:00 PM           Zazen – 5 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

5:10 PM           Relax (Yoga, Read, Etc.), Walk Dogs

6:00 PM           Dinner

7:00 PM           Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunset is at 7:39)

8:00 PM           Demon Feeding Practice

8:30 PM           Walk Dogs, Feed Dogs, Cat, Bun

9:00 PM           Evening Bell Chant

9:30 PM           Lights Out

SUNDAY

5:30 AM          Wake Up, Walk Dogs

6:00 AM          Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunrise is at 6:15)

7:00 AM          Demon Feeding Practice

7:30 AM          Breakfast, Walk Dogs

8:30 AM          Zazen – Bowing, Chanting, 3-4 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

11:30 AM        Relax (Yoga, Shower, Read, Etc.)

12:30 PM         Lunch, Walk Dogs

1:30 PM           Zazen

2:00 PM           Close Formal Retreat

2:01 PM           Nap.  🙂  KATZ!

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism

Medicine Buddha

My friend is having surgery tomorrow.  Last night my husband and I stopped by to see her and drop off some DVDs for her to watch during her recovery.

I also gave her a CD with the Medicine Buddha mantra on it and a candle I made.  I bought a blue candle at the grocery store, the type in a clear glass cylinder.  Then I created a template in Word that would cover it.  I inserted pictures and text, then print, glue, and voila:

Medicine Buddha Candle

My friend really liked it, her Catholic upbringing notwithstanding.  I don’t know whether it will provide any metaphysical healing.  But I’m pretty sure it will bring her comfort, knowing it was made for her with love.

“My religion is kindness,” said the Dalai Lama.

Indeed.

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism

Resting in Ease

I’ve had a sore throat and sinus infection since Sunday.  Monday and Tuesday of this week, I had my current 15-hour days.  By the time I got home both nights, I was so exhausted that I  took some medication and went to bed.

Today being Christmas Eve, I had the day off.  I got up this morning but quickly realized I was ready for a nap.  I told my husband I was going to expend all my energies toward getting well.  I went back to bed around noon.

I fell asleep almost immediately.  It was the fitful sleep of illness, unfortunately, and I kept waking up either too hot or too cold.  Each time I awoke, I adjusted my covers and settled on my back to meditate.

I practiced metta, silently repeating the phrases in my mind, directing lovingkindness toward myself.

May I be safe.

May I be healthy.

May I be peaceful.

May I be happy.

I dropped back to sleep each time, still turning over the mantras in my mind.  Eventually, I woke to the sound of my husband’s voice.  It was 5:30.  I got up to spend some time with him, and it was amazing how much better I felt.  I’m still not completely healed, but I’m well on the way.

I had never tried meditating during an illness before.  Though my desire was to sleep as much as possible, I found that meditating – rather than thinking about how miserable I was or worrying how I’d feel tomorrow – brought me additional rest.

Isn’t that interesting…?

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism, Week in Review

The Week in Review through 12/14/08

Meditation:

Prajna Paramita Practice:  1
Metta: 5

Notes:

I finally missed a day of meditation, for the first time in almost three months.  My job is definitely wearing on me.  I love it, but there’s just a little too much of it!  I spent all day Friday trying to recover from the week, and then the weekend gets slammed with housework and getting ready for the next week.

Still: there is no guilt in Zen.  Only the awareness that time is precious, so I should use mine wisely.

One good thing: I did Prajna Paramita practice this week.  It was wonderful to be back channeling my inner wisdom goddess!  🙂

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism

Deer Park Retreat 2004, Epilogue

10/15/08 Long Beach, CA
8:51 PM

I never ended up writing about my last day on retreat, and it’s far too late to do so now. But I will wrap up a few loose ends.

Stephanie and I did keep in touch. I went to visit her in West Virginia in July 2005. I went hiking on her 75 acres, pet her three dogs, and went motorcycle riding with her husband. She continues to be a wonderful friend to me.

I returned to Deer Park for a weekend retreat in July 2007. The “smiling monk” was there, asking, “Why do I recognize you?” He was just as friendly. Thay was not there, and only a handful of monastics were in residence. The lay population was under 10, so I got to know the life of the monastics much better. It was a completely different experience, but it was equally rewarding.

It was four and a half years before I would undertake another weeklong retreat. Before I left, I reread my journal. I realized just how judgmental I had been. Armed with this information about myself, I was able to keep a more open and clear mind during my 2008 experience at Sprit Rock.

My next retreat will (hopefully!) be at Tara Mandala, June-July 2009. Stay tuned… 🙂

Posted in Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

Deer Park Retreat 2004, Day 7

2/26/04
8:33 AM

It’s raining again today. And I don’t mind. 🙂

Thay’s dharma talks yesterday were excellent; much better than the one at UC Irvine last Sunday. The first one was in Vietnamese. Stephanie’s earphones [for translation] didn’t work, so a monk brought her a pair they loan out, but they were out of extension cords & hers didn’t reach. So I traded her, since mine had a longer cord. Thay talked about Lin Chi, the founder of Rinzai Zen. It really was a koan lecture, though they don’t use that vocabulary here.

After breakfast, we went back for the afternoon talk. I met Thay & his entourage on the road. I was walking with 3 Vietnamese women. We all stopped & bowed to him, & he bowed back. Then he smiled at us, the way one smiles at long lost family. I could feel the aura of compassion emanating from him, like the soft touch of a butterfly’s wing. We waited for him to turn up toward the meditation hall (“Ocean of Peace” meditation hall) then followed him up. I felt as though I had received an unexpected blessing, like seeing a patch of blue sky after days of storm, or hearing the sudden laughter of a child.

Thay’s second talk was in English, & was about compassion. He said that the Buddha would say, “Dear friend, you have suffered so much. You deserve compassion.” They he reminded us, “The Buddha isn’t up there on the altar. He is within you.” He also reminded us, in his gentle way, that President Bush is a Buddha-to-be. It was a very powerful talk, & my tears nearly came on 2 occasions

After that, we walked. For years, I’ve seen pictures of Thay leading people along quiet, country roads. And now here I was, in a throng of silent seekers, following Thay along a quiet, country road. We rested at his house, & Sister Chan Kong led us in some songs. Other songs came up spontaneously. The sun shone, & we had a lovely time

We had a formal lunch in the meditation hall, all 500 or so of us. Very interesting.

For our dharma discussion, we went down the hill to Clarity Hamlet where the nuns live. It was our room, a few other lay people, & some nuns. One was a Tibetan nun here on retreat. With 5 min. remaining, Sister Annabelle forced me to share something. So I talked about how my roommates, all of whom were present, were helping me reconnect with my gender. Afterwards, the Tibetan nun came up to me to tell me she had never liked other women until she was in her late 30’s, the age I am now. I asked her about her being here, & she said she respected Thay & was curious about Zen. Her order thought it a bit off, but let her go.

Trish & I had a great talk on the way back, all about women & how we relate to them & to men.

After dinner, the 5 of us had tea & conversation. At first it was Christine, Stephanie & me, then Trish & finally Katy joined us as they came home. We exchanged contact information with every good intention of staying in touch.

The rain soaked our shoes last night, & I didn’t have another pair. Stephanie loaned me some clogs, which was very generous. I’ve been letting Katy borrow my hairbrush. What a cool bunch we are.

Here is our schedule on a typical day, with the caveat that few days are typical:

5:00 Wake up bell

6:00 Sitting Meditation in large hall (90 min.)

8:00 Breakfast – silent

9:00 Work meditation (about 60 min.)

11:30 Walking meditation (60 min.)

12:30 Lunch – silent

3:00 Dharma discussion (90 min.)

6:00 Dinner – silent

8:00 Sitting meditation (90 min.)

9:30 Noble silence

10:30 Lights out

On Wednesday

5:00 Wake up bell

6:30 Thay’s Vietnamese talk (90 min.)

8:00 Breakfast – silent

9:30 Thay’s English talk (90 min.)

11:30 Walking meditation with Thay

12:30 Formal lunch (2 hrs.)

3:30 Dharma discussion

6:00 Dinner – silent

Most meals take 30-45 minutes, including washing up. Each person washes his or her own dishes & utensils by hand, then they get run through a commercial dishwasher. I actually really like the practice

The long-term retreatants have chores that are the same each day. Trish, for example, is on the soy milk production team. We one-to-two week types are on a rotation as follows, by room assignment

  • Clean up breakfast
  • Clean up lunch
  • Clean up dinner
  • Chop vegetables

Chopping vegetables includes washing them, as I discovered the other day. Cleaning up after meals can be drying dishes & setting them back out on the buffet line, scrubbing pots & pans, washing out cans for recycling, even cleaning the bathrooms.