Posted in Zen Buddhism

Deer Park Retreat 2004, Day 3

7:15 AM Field Trip Day!

Today at breakfast I took two slices of apple. Was there ever anything so perfect as an apple? Crisp, fresh and sweet, it left my mouth feeling clean. I ate part of it with cheese, part without, & some cheese by itself. I enjoyed the different flavor & texture combinations on my tongue. It’s amazing how interesting food is when you pay attention. I wonder what mindfulness can do for sex…

Ah, yes, over 48 hours without sexual release, & I’m feeling it. I’m not aroused, it’s more of a feeling of vague lacking, like something’s missing. As with everything else going on around me right now, I simply note it & move on.

I met a cute guy last night in the tea room while I was journaling. It’s funny that I would perceive him that way here. I hadn’t realized how accustomed I am to interacting with men as sexual creatures. I saw the guy this morning at the dining hall and he motioned for me to go through the door ahead of him. We smiled wordlessly as we’re practicing noble silence. But there was nothing flirty about it. It was the same smile I’d have given anyone, & I’m sure his was the same.


Ven. Dr. Myodo Jabo (Sandy Gougis) is a Zen Master and Priest in the Five Mountain Zen Order. She began studying Theravâdin Buddhism in 1998, adding Zen in 2003, and Vajrayana Buddhism in 2008. She currently practices in both the Zen and Tibetan traditions. Her Zen teacher is Most Ven. Wonji Dharma of the Five Mountain Zen Order, and her Tibetan guru is Lama Tsultrim Allione of Tara Mandala. In her free time, Myodo enjoys painting, jewelry making, and other creative endeavors.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.