Living in the Dash

Tara Mandala Retreat 2009, Prologue

Posted on August 31, 2009August 31, 2009 by Myodo

Prologue

I first met Lama Tsultrim Allione last September at a retreat on “Awakening through the Sacred Feminine” at Spirit Rock. I felt an instant connection with her. On the last day of that retreat, I told her that I’d like to study with her again. She invited me to attend Kapala Training Level I, which was scheduled to coincide with my husband’s annual motorcycle trip with “the boys.” I felt my karma unfolding, and wrote as much in my journal on that day.

And so, nine months later, I was flying to Colorado to attend Kapala I.

As I’ve done with previous retreats, I’m going to repost my paper journal here. I will, however, omit the specific, detailed instructions on the meditative practices, out of respect for the teachings. I am not qualified to “transmit” the Tibetan practices I learned, and partial information can be a dangerous thing.

May all beings benefit!

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A Conversation with My Dog

Posted on August 29, 2009January 25, 2013 by Myodo

Sparky’s been barking a lot this morning, even by his standards. So I took him aside, got him calmed down, and pet him. I spoke to him in soothing tones, gently stroking the soft fur on his head.

“Look,” I said, “I know it’s got to be hard not to bark when you have dog-nature. It’s a dog’s nature to bark. But do you know what? You have Buddha-nature, too. And Buddhas very rarely bark.”

Then he looked me straight in the eye and said, “Woof!”

Tibetan Buddhism

Unskillful Means

Posted on August 28, 2009August 28, 2009 by Myodo

I’m reading An Introduction to Buddhism: Teachings, History and Practices by Peter Harvey. He talks about the three roots of unskillful means: greed, hatred, and delusion. Lama Tsultrim teaches a practice of Nine Purification Breaths at the beginning of Prajna Paramita practice. The poisons being purified are attachment, anger, and ignorance. It’s the same principle! I’ve been working on purifying my unskillful means for the past 11 months without realizing it. 🙂

Greed Hatred Delusion

Attachment Aversion Ignorance

Craving Anger

Craving Aggression

Passion

(BTW, should Mara attack you by making your pen run out of ink as you’re trying to note an important insight, just get a new pen. I found that works remarkably well.)

Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

The Solo Householder Retreat

Posted on August 25, 2009 by Myodo

What I learned:

Get family out of the house.
Get pets out of the house, or practice fluid acceptance as your schedule changes.
Turn off the phone. Let people know beforehand that you won’t be available.
Turn off the computer.
Turn off the TV.
Plan meals. Do the shopping ahead of time. Try to “fix” rather than “cook.” Remember to be mindful when preparing food. Don’t try anything new for the first time; stick to what you know is good for you.
Do chores before the start of the retreat. Get the laundry and shopping done for the week to come so it’s not a distraction. You’ll have enough to think about. Trust me.
Don’t bother to check the mail.
Stay indoors or in enclosed outdoor areas as much as possible. Avoid people.
If you do encounter others, like neighbors, let your practice be compassion. They probably won’t understand noble silence, and you won’t want to be rude.
Make a schedule long before you start. Then use it as a guideline, not a rulebook.
Forgive yourself when you get off track. Then get back on track.
Experiment. Now is a good opportunity to try varying your meditation practice or sitting position.
Be realistic. You will need time to transition from one activity to another.
Consider whether you will exercise. Exercising may increase your energy more than you wish, but you may feel off balance if you skip a regular session. Listen to your inner wisdom. You can always change your mind.
You may fall asleep. If that happens, engage in nap practice!
Allow an hour or two after the end of the retreat before planning interactions with others. Give yourself time to ease back up to speed.

May all beings benefit!

Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

“Going” on Retreat

Posted on August 16, 2009August 16, 2009 by Myodo

I completed my at-home retreat. This was my first “solo” retreat – though with all the animals at home, I never felt alone. I didn’t end up seeing my friend on Saturday, but I did have to dog sit for a different friend who is recovering from major surgery. Her dog doesn’t like one of my dogs, and major drama ensued. While my retreat experience wasn’t fully restful, I got to be of service to both dog and owner, and that was good practice, too.

Because numbers are how Americans are taught to keep score:

Zazen periods: 14
Demons fed: 4
Prajna Paramita practice periods: 4
Chanting periods not part of other practices: 3
Metta meditation periods: 4
Neighbors I had polite conversation with while walking the dogs: 4
Wandering dogs I returned to their owners: 1
Number of 200mg ibuprofen gelcaps consumed: 9

I learned a lot about how my mind works and about the nature of mind. I managed to avoid the major temptations of sleeping too much and turning on the computer. I will do this sort of “householder retreat” again when the opportunity presents itself.

Tibetan Buddhism, Zen Buddhism

Roll-Your-Own Retreat Schedule

Posted on August 7, 2009August 7, 2009 by Myodo

My beloved husband is going out of town next weekend. So, I’ve decided to take Sylvia Boorstein’s advice and “don’t just do something, sit there!” Below is my tentative schedule, based on Hubby leaving around 7 Friday and returning sometime after 2 on Sunday.

Of course, all schedules are subject to change! I will probably be seeing a friend on Saturday afternoon; I’ll just chop out the activities I had scheduled for that window of time.

My plan is a mix of Zen and Tibetan practices. They actually blend together better than one might think. Tributaries of the same stream.

I’ll try to report back after I see how it actually works!

FRIDAY

7:00 PM Open Formal Retreat. Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunset is at 7:40)

8:00 PM Demon Feeding Practice

8:30 PM Walk Dogs, Feed Dogs, Cat, Bun

9:00 PM Evening Bell Chant

9:30 PM Lights Out

SATURDAY

5:30 AM Wake Up, Walk Dogs

6:00 AM Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunrise is at 6:15)

7:00 AM Demon Feeding Practice

7:30 AM Breakfast, Walk Dogs

8:30 AM Zazen – Bowing, Chanting, 3-4 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

11:30 AM Relax (Yoga, Shower, Read, Etc.)

12:30 PM Lunch, Walk Dogs

1:30 PM Relax (Read, Etc.)

2:00 PM Zazen – 5 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

5:10 PM Relax (Yoga, Read, Etc.), Walk Dogs

6:00 PM Dinner

7:00 PM Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunset is at 7:39)

8:00 PM Demon Feeding Practice

8:30 PM Walk Dogs, Feed Dogs, Cat, Bun

9:00 PM Evening Bell Chant

9:30 PM Lights Out

SUNDAY

5:30 AM Wake Up, Walk Dogs

6:00 AM Prajna Paramita Practice (Sunrise is at 6:15)

7:00 AM Demon Feeding Practice

7:30 AM Breakfast, Walk Dogs

8:30 AM Zazen – Bowing, Chanting, 3-4 Periods with 10 minutes of walking in between

11:30 AM Relax (Yoga, Shower, Read, Etc.)

12:30 PM Lunch, Walk Dogs

1:30 PM Zazen

2:00 PM Close Formal Retreat

2:01 PM Nap. 🙂 KATZ!

Tibetan Buddhism

Medicine Buddha

Posted on August 6, 2009August 16, 2009 by Myodo

My friend is having surgery tomorrow. Last night my husband and I stopped by to see her and drop off some DVDs for her to watch during her recovery.

I also gave her a CD with the Medicine Buddha mantra on it and a candle I made. I bought a blue candle at the grocery store, the type in a clear glass cylinder. Then I created a template in Word that would cover it. I inserted pictures and text, then print, glue, and voila:

Medicine Buddha Candle

My friend really liked it, her Catholic upbringing notwithstanding. I don’t know whether it will provide any metaphysical healing. But I’m pretty sure it will bring her comfort, knowing it was made for her with love.

“My religion is kindness,” said the Dalai Lama.

Indeed.

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No Winning, No Losing

Posted on April 24, 2009April 24, 2009 by Myodo

Recently my dog Sparky and I were playing tug-of-war. He loves this game. I wanted him to enjoy himself and not feel that he was losing, so more than half the time I was letting him win. Then I noticed that he kept coming back for another round, win or lose.

That’s when it hit me: he has no concept of “win” or “lose.” Now, this is rare, even for dogs. I’ve lived with ten dogs in my life, including Sparky, and known countless more. Usually, if a dog doesn’t end up with the toy fairly often, he or she will lose interest in playing. Dogs are competitive by nature. Sparky is competitive with our other dog, Little Man, and doesn’t like to “lose” to him. He’s also competitive with our cat Ivy, and can’t stand it if she’s being petted and he isn’t. But when Sparky plays with me, he plays with me, not against me.

Isn’t that interesting…?

Does a dog have Buddha nature? WOOF!

Sparky during quieter times. He's an American Eskimo Dog.

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Happy for No Reason

Posted on March 11, 2009 by Myodo

Zen Buddhism

Learning from Illness

Posted on February 23, 2009February 23, 2009 by Myodo

I’m home sick today. This rarely happens to me, especially when I love my job as I do this one. I fret that my students aren’t getting what they’re supposed to, even though I know they’re in good hands. I feel guilty that I’m not doing anything productive, even though I’m too sick to work. So what’s to be learned from all this?

First, dwelling on how crappy I feel only makes it worse. There’s a certain amount of “suffering” inherent in being ill. Thinking endlessly about how I bad I feel adds an additional layer of suffering that is purely optional. I can just sit with the bodily sensations without judging them – without saying “I feel terrible!” to myself – or I can do things like type this blog post. Either way, I’m not feeding the suffering.

Second, delegating my class to someone else isn’t neglecting it. I emailed in the lesson plan for today and followed up with two phone calls. Now I can relax and let the people whose job it is to take over, take over. They are professionals. I am not indispensable, regardless of what my ego is telling me.

Third, focusing all my energy on getting well IS productive. I didn’t realize this until one of my dear Buddhist friends emailed me recently that she was home sick and how lazy and unproductive it made her feel. I wrote her back to say that sometimes, healing our bodies (or minds, for that matter) is our job for the day. It was only when I wrote that to her, that I realized the same is true for me. Today is my opportunity to “practice what I preach.” I will focus on getting well. If I accomplish nothing else today, my progress toward health will be accomplishment enough.